Goodbye
by SSRNGPDLNFGJLfan
Summary: How I think Cristina should be written off without dying..


This could possibly be the end for Cristina. After 8 years working at the hospital, now known as Grey Sloan Memorial, the days she would walk through the halls was slowly counting down. A great offer no surgeon could give up had been given to Cristina only the day before: the chance to expand her heart stem cell research over in France. Being fluent in French, and the hospital over there having one of the best cardio centres, there was no way Cristina would give up this opportunity.  
But for some reason, the easy answer just wasn't so easy for her right now. At the beginning of her residency, Cristina would have said yes in minutes without second thought, but in the time spent in the hospital, getting to know new people, the yes from Cristina wasn't coming so easily.  
The offer came to Cristina on a Thursday, but she didn't talk about it with anyone until the following Monday, when word somehow got out to Meredith.  
"How couldn't you say anything?" Meredith demanded. The tension was still high between them, but right when Meredith found out she had to know what Cristina was thinking. The thought of loosing Cristina was horrible to Meredith, even though the place they were in at the moment was not looking very good for the friendship.  
"I didn't think you'd care." Cristina mumbled.  
"Of course I care, Cristina!"  
"It doesn't matter anyway. I don't think I'll go... France is a long way away."  
Meredith's mouth opened in surprise. "Cristina!"  
"Why does that matter to you, Meredith?"  
"Because... because I'm tired of us fighting -" Cristina was about to cut her off, confused as to where this conversation was suddenly going. "I'm tired of it because I miss the way it used to be. Callie's great, April is, well... but I need my person back, Cristina!"  
"I'm not your person -"  
"I know we aren't each other's people! I get that now, I guess. I guess that is the way its supposed to be. I mean, Derek is supposed to be my person, and you..." Meredith stopped talking at the look on Cristina's face. Instead, Meredith decided to try going in a different direction. "We took a step back from each other, and I think that was a good thing. I really realize now that your career is the most important thing to you. You love other people, I get that, but... if you had to choose, gun to the head, you would pick surgery. You would, and have always picked surgery. And I understand that. This is why I'm glad we didn't talk, because I realized that I wouldn't pick surgery now. I would pick my family, and that is okay. But I can still be a great surgeon, and a great mother - "  
Cristina cut her off. "I never meant that. I know you can have both."  
"And I know you can not have both. It may be in my nature, but there is no way that it is in your nature. You need to be a surgeon, Cristina. I don't know why I got so angry when you said I couldn't be a surgeon. I am a good surgeon, but being a mother at the same time does not mean I am not a good surgeon. Everyone looks up to you, Cristina, and for some reason I have been thinking that I have to be like you too."  
"I really don't know where this is going..." Cristina said confused.  
"I don't either. I just want to say that while we haven't been talking, I have realized that you need surgery to live. And I don't say this in a bad way. It's just who you are."  
"So..."  
"So you need to go to France!"  
"I don't know, Mer -"  
"What is keeping you back? Why won't you go to France, Cristina?"  
"France?"  
Both Cristina and Meredith turned quickly towards the voice, turning to face a shocked and saddened Owen.  
"You're going to France?" Owen asked, before turning in the opposite direction.  
"Owen!" Cristina called, turning apologetically towards Meredith before running after Owen. She found him in the first on call room she checked, sitting on the bed. He watched as she entered and sat beside him. "I guess you want to know?"  
"No, it doesn't matter," Owen said. "It's that great cardio program in Paris, right? That's great, congrats Cristina."  
Cristina hesitantly put her hand on Owen's face and pulled his face towards her, making eye contact with him. Her hand then went down to grip his hand, squeezing tightly.  
"I don't want to go."  
"Cristina..."  
"I hate myself! I hate what other people think I am. This robot, this cold, heartless surgeon that only cares about cutting. Right there, Meredith tried to make amends. And she said I have to be a surgeon, because nothing else is in my nature. I.." The words were coming slower as Cristina was suddenly crying. Owen watched her speak, his heart breaking for her, and held her hand the whole time. "I hate myself! I really... hate... myself!"  
Owen didn't say anything at first, trying to figure out what exactly to say. He hadn't spoken to Cristina this intimately since their official break up 3 months ago, but this moment felt as if they were still together. They were always there for each other, comforting and holding the other until everything was okay. After he started dating Emma, Owen would still watch Cristina, and eventually started to see how lonely she was becoming.  
"People only see that because you don't open up to everyone..." Owen started. "That cold, heartless surgeon is only a cover that people see. But that's fine, Cristina, because not everyone needs to know exactly who you are. I think that people that share everything are worse then those who keep everything in. Who cares what other people see because I know that you are nothing like that."  
"That's only because you have seen me outside of the hospital." Cristina said.  
"Exactly. You are someone different when you are outside of the hospital. I think it's a good thing that you just get the job done as a surgeon though. If I had to have surgery, I would pick you over everyone-"  
"That's not true," Cristina cut him off.  
"Of course it's true."  
A silence filled the room for a few moments, Cristina staring straight into Owen's deep blue eyes. Tears were still falling from Cristina's face, so Owen put his hand across her cheek, whipping the tears away.  
"I am lucky." Owen finally said, breaking the silence. "I am lucky because I get the chance to see the other side of you. If I had to describe you, I would never say you were cold, or heartless, or mean. You put up that personality at work, but that is not truly who you are. I know this, Cristina, and you need to start knowing it too. You are kind, caring, smart, funny, and... The best thing that anyone could ever have."  
"Owen..."  
"That's why I am lucky. Because I got the chance to love you, and the chance to be loved by you."  
"Owen..."  
"So..." Owen paused. "So, you need to go to France."  
Cristina pulled away from him, shocked. "What, I don't -"  
Owen pulled both of her hands into his, squeezing tightly. "I will always love you, Cristina. I will always love you because I get the chance to see the best side of you. But I can't make you happy. I don't know how to make you happy because surgery is a part of you. You don't need me to be happy because as long as you have surgery, you can be. We want different things. I really wish we didn't and we could agree on everything and live happily ever after. I wish this, but we both know that is not the truth. I want a child. You don't want a child but a career. Our time together is done, I guess."  
"Owen, please..."  
"I would love to spend the rest of my life with you, but it's not going to happen. You need to go to France so you can be happy. As long as you are happy, I can be happy too even if I'm not with you anymore. So go to France, Cristina. It would make me very happy."  
Cristina was shocked. She didn't know how to take the whole speech from Owen. "I... I don't want to leave you..." Cristina said hesitantly.  
"I don't want you to leave either, but we will probably not get back together. It's not good for us because we'll end up hurting each other. I do want to be your friend, though, Cristina. Meredith may not be there for you now, but I think I can be the best friend you will ever have. So since I'm your friend, I'm telling you to go to France and be happy."  
"Friend..."  
"Friend. From one friend to another friend, I think you should go to France."  
Cristina didn't say anything at first, but suddenly sprung forward and wrapped her small arms around Owen's strong, comforting body. Immediately Owen wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close to his body. Cristina started crying again, so Owen started rocking the two of them, holding tightly onto her until her sobs quieted, and eventually stopped.  
"Go to France, Cristina. Be great. Be happy."  
"Are you sure," Cristina asked, looking into Owen's eyes.  
"I'm sure."


End file.
